I can't believe we let him out in public.

I'm not going to tell you that Jack is smart. I think he is, but what parent doesn't think that of their offspring? I will quote our ward's primary president, however: "He's hard. A total rascal. Always 5 steps ahead of you." Like most four-year-olds he entertains us with his musings. This last month he's been on fire. I now present Jack's greatest hits from the months of December and January:

1) On our way to a meeting with the Stake President, Allan asks Jack what he thinks President Christenson is going to talk about with Dad. Jack replies, "The Priesthood!" Allan says, "Which kind of Priesthood?" Jack, without missing a beat, declares "The MORONIC Priesthood!"

2) My visiting teacher asked Jack what he wanted to name the baby. Jack tooks a good 10 seconds to ponder this question and emphatically replied, "Fireball!" It's six weeks later, and it appears this child will be referred to as Fireball for the rest of its life.

3) Jack's Christmas was one of way too many Lego Star Wars sets--and pieces come off constantly. It drives me crazy, because I've spent way too much time bent over the sets trying to figure out why the heck we bought ages 7-14 sets for our 4-year-old. Recently, however, Jack made a pretty difficult repair all on his own. I said, "I'm so proud of you! See?...if your brain had turned to mush from too much t.v. you wouldn't have been smart enough to do that all on your own!" He looked at me and said, "Mom, when you check your e-mail your brain turns to mush." Ouch.

4) Yesterday Jack told me that a lady in the ward said he could "come over and play on Tuesday." I said, "Hmmm...are you sure you didn't invite yourself over to play on Tuesday? Did she offer, or did you ask her?" He was silent for about twenty long seconds. Then he said, "I told her that she could offer me to let me come over on Tuesday."

5) Allan was reading Jack the New Testament story of the father of the young boy who had an evil spirit. Jack asked why the boy had an evil spirit, and Allan explained that sometimes when people were really sick it was said they had evil spirits inside of them. Jack then asked, "So Mom has an evil spirit?" Backtrack, backtrack.

6) Jack's been plugging his ears every time he comes out of the bathroom. I asked him if it was because the toilet flushing hurts his ears. He said, "I plug my ears so I can't hear you tell me to wash my hands."

If I fall off the face of the earth and it isn't reported on my blog, does anyone even know?

I've emerged. Those who were with me during pregnancy #1 could probably predict this would happen. I just spent the last 2.5 months sleeping, reading, and complaining. Jack has watched a lot of Backyardigans and has played a lot of games on pbskids. Allan has done a lot of dishes, folding laundry, taking Jack off my hands, and finding me passed out for the night by 9pm. He even tried to gross me out at times when I really, really wanted to throw up in order to get 5 minutes of nausea relief.

Allan and Jack = TROOPERS

In the meantime, I've lost about 25 IQ points to due to a combination of pregnancy plus idleness. I have absolutely nothing interesting to say. In fact, I've become the woman that I dread. I talk about this pregnancy far more than anyone cares to hear. I've replaced my endless analysis of my infertility with endless analysis of my pregnancy. And I can't shut up about it!

For instance, does anyone really care that I can't eat sweets or starchy foods without getting really sick? Probably no one but my mother is interested in that one. Or how about the rate at which I'm gaining weight? Nope. No one cares except Allan--and only because he's waiting for possible orders to gain weight so that our two numbers will never to cross paths.

In fact, the only thing that I'm sure anyone is curious about is whether or not it's a boy or a girl.

HA! We're not finding out. So there. For some reason this makes me feel cooler than everyone else. It's like we're one of those uber-hip couples who gets married in the Provo Temple. We're not going to cave into doing what 90% of couples do. We're going to be like our parents! And if that means I won't get as many baby gifts, SO BE IT!

Maybe the reason we're not finding out is because when I was toying with the idea of doing it the old-fashioned way, Allan said he didn't believe I could ever do it. From that statement on, I have been determined to prove him wrong.

The ultrasound isn't until February 2nd. But if I cave in and find out, you can bet your life that I will never admit it.

Heh, heh, heh.